The truth is that everything still hurts. All the pain I've chased away, hidden, ran from, pretended wasn't there, and of course, there's, the pain I've clung to and somewhat cherished, that is still there too. You see, sometimes pain is the only thing you have left from something else.
But to choose only one side of myself to share? I'd lose myself, atleast half of myself, along the way. And when you write against your heart and when you share yourself disingenuously, it's so obvious and such a turn off
But thinking back, it was never about the show we were about to put on, but it was always about the bonding. Here we were facing our biggest moments and milestones in life and our closest friends were readily available to hold our hand through it. Craft night, planning meetings, party prep... it was all just an excuse to gather and enjoy company with a purpose.
I guess you could say that at 10 years old he needs me most for the things he doesn't want me for.... homework, putting on sunscreen, taking out the trash, asking for help with his little brother... almost like I need him more than he needs me now.
I'm obsessed with the landscaping. Obsessed. And the lighting. And the architecture. And the obvious fanatics with Disney tattoos and funky pins and buttons. Way too many over-priced light up toys (totally worth it). And ya'll were right about the turkey legs. And the churros. And the cost of a bottle of water.
There's been a lot of love and there's been a lot of hurt. A steady dance of hardening and softening. We've had to rebuild ourselves a time or two--sometimes we see it coming and sometimes it catches us by surprise. But we always look back proudly at the positive result of pushing through.
I have so many awesome things going on right now where do I begin? So I've been playing with succulents. And by "playing" I mean watering them, talking to them and trying not to touch them too much and I'll be damned I do believe I've finally kept plants alive. I get it now. This … Continue reading Projects