On Ancestors Part One

My Aunt Deanie passed away yesterday – my moms aunt. Despite multiple sclerosis and other ailments she lived a long and fruitful life. Her passing is a happy ending indeed.

I didn’t know her all too well. What I do know of my Ohio family are fuzzy clips of childhood memories: towering trees in the front yard, lightning bugs, backyard parties with booze from crystal carafes, my first tornado warning, calling soda “pop”, lots and lots of F-words spoken by petite women with big boobs and big mouths. These are my people.

It was a stretch to think I’d go back and share them with my husband and kids, but the thought was there. Like everything else it was a matter of having enough time/money/opportunity.

But as time slips through hour glasses, so too do people, and it would be impossible to relive these people as I remember them now. It’s too late.

These people–my ancestors now–are just as much a part of me as they ever were, perhaps more so. Ancestors follow us through every decision we make, through all the loops we take in life they service go guide and deliver messages if you choose to believe and if you choose to receive them.

And today’s message is: time waits for no one.

There will never be the perfect moment, there clearing in life’s demands, the freely paved road with giant glowing signs pointing you in the direction of what you want. The time, the moment, the movement, it’s now, baby. The only thing holding you back is the hesitation and fear and laziness that you possess within you. For me, there’s a hell of a lot of that going on. A constant distrust in myself and a lack of faith. That’s easy to type and hard to admit but it’s true.

I can’t and won’t say that in Deannie’s name I’m gonna drop all self doubt and the need for a clear plan and book tickets somewhere fun. I’m much to trapped by habit.. But the message, is received. And like all messages from our ancestors, they start the glowing embers in our heart to follow a new stepping stone we have perhaps never considered or seen. Maybe I’ll never go to Ohio but time is ticking and I need to go somewhere…. somethings calling now.

Thanks Deannie, loud and clear. And as my Nana said “Go on Deannie, get out of here and have some fun!”

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