XV The Devil (tarot)

I’ve come to know very well that in each of us is a bed of secrets and lies. Even the most open books have chapters they’ve written, torn up and tossed out only to pick the pieces up and tucked them neatly beneath their pillow, never ready to let them go. And this bed that we climb into and wrap ourselves with the chill of temptation and comfort, (Sex. Drugs. Rock-n-Roll. Online shopping. Binging and purging. That potato chip habit. Talking mad shit about your ex to anyone who will listen.) They all feel. SO. DAMN. GOOD. And then so damn bad.
So once I found these secrets in others I could see them in myself. It’s an inner wind that whistles through my walls, it’s the tiny stones in the shoes of my soul, it’s my throat that tightens at the thought of it.

XV The Devil

These were born out of necessity. They showed up at just the right time rescue us and we’ve come to think we we need it to survive.
In 12-step programs they pursue an arduous process of unpacking these unspokens, leaving no stone unturned as a means of loosening their grip of handholding with their demons. It’s quite amazing to witness this. Someone willing to be vulnerable and spiritually naked for the sake of change. It’s brave and noble for people who never feel brave nor noble.

When this card shows up I know someones been leaning hard into their shadow self, not because they are a weak person but because something is influencing them in some kinda way and they are taking the unhealthy way out.
But it’s no coincidence that the next card is The Tower, where shit starts to really apart. Why? Because if you lean too hard, you fall. There are consequences to these things we do, our buried secrets grow roots that crack the very concrete of our soul. But despite that this here here Devil card don’t even ask you to stop, it says lean if you must, but not too hard. But listen my babies, there will be a cost. You can can continue to scratch your itch or you can get some spiritual ointment on that shit state. Its unrealistic to completely banish bad habits, but you can align with healthy measures and experience the occasional sensation of balance and healing and more importantly, freedom.

If all of this touches a nerve it should. It’s not about anyone in particular but if you think it was about you I am here to tell you: it is. These is a lot of this Devil energy happening around us right now: it’s been a weird year of loss and change and triumphs. The summer has been hot and the heat has us undeniably feeling things. To deny that the devil brushes up against us would be lying. To obsess about that presence would just pull you deep into darkness. To simply acknowledge the big horned man in the room, perfect.

Not all forces he represents are evil. Never a song was first sung, never a poem written, never a narrative crafted, never a prose poured upon a page without the presence of the devil. In every lusty early romance there is that instinctive, passionate, creative and often sexual surrender. To give your heart to someone requires a bit of recklessness, because to look at the idea of love with logic alone is insanity. Humans, aka animals, become so swept up in the material, structural nature of the world we’ve constructed that we need a bit of devilish vibes to keep us connected to our raw nature. Think, unrepressed life-force.

But friends, the issue comes when we believe we can control this energy. IT. CONTROLS US. It’s important that in letting this energy into your space that you make sure it moves through and away. Too much of anything is terrible. If you find yourself rubbing raw into your devil energy, how to stop, how to stop? As a non-expert I would suggest switching outlets promptly. Pull away, back, into structure. Make sure any creativity is pure and natural. Ask for help. Ask for help. Ask for help.

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