I sure love being right all the time. I’m grew up smack dab in the middle of women, my voice, tiny, had to be even louder, my mind, stubborn, even more sure than ever. I was raised to be right. Astrologically? So fucking right all the time. Aquarius and their constant pursuit of social justice. Then I got married and I get to be right in where we should eat tonight, forgetting to buy coffee creamer and the state of our Tupperware drawer. Now as a mom? Do I even need to say it? Always right.
And because sarcasm font doesn’t exist, allow me to point out that for the most part I’m kidding. But there’s also a big part of me that isn’t. I picture myself like the palm trees dancing outside my window right now: The older I get my beliefs grow strong, roots deep in experience bending against the winds of influence, stubborn, unrelenting, my fronds stretching out like jazz hands welcoming acknowledgement.
But also as I’ve grown older I recognize that trying to be right all the time is a petty and unnecessary and utterly self-serving endeavor. Does it make me powerful? An Authority on anything? Does it even make me right?
I think as a woman experience different situations that manipulate my right-ness: where I am empowered, and appreciated, at home, with friends, juxtaposed spending time where personal power is taken, where I have to abide by misplaced authority, such as at work. At times I overcompensate in an effort to protect my power. The dualities push and pull, like all things. In this dance I have learned a few things: Just because you are in charge, doesn’t mean you have any power. Just because you aren’t in charge doesn’t’ mean you are powerless. The true power comes in how we treat those we are set to influence and how we allow them to influence us. Just because you have power and are in charge does not mean that you are right. Being “right” only limits growth and understanding. And while you don’t have to be right, you have to act right.
And so, when I’ve grown tired of being right all the time, and when I desire to make meaningful changes in the balance of energies, I turn to the tarot, who shows me the Six of Pentacles, which embraces the generosity of spirit and substance. In instances where there is an imbalance of power and energy, the best way to benefit is by seeking a give and take. We obviously cannot force anyones hand to give (items or energy) and so we are left with the sole responsibility of being she who reaches out and makes the first move. Someones gotta do it.
In all interactions, I can give kindness, patience and dutiful effort. When I do this I witness others soften and I receive something in return. One of the biggest things I try to give others lately is letting them be right. Accepting their truth, meeting them where they are at.
In recent weeks I’ve been listening more to my kids, accepting my friendships as flawed and fabulous, meeting my sisters where they are at in life, remaining a soft place for my husband to land. But this lesson also teaches us how to receive. How to humbly and openly accept: help, love, favors, compliments, constructive criticism. When we are open minded we receive new ways of thinking, when we accept and embrace others as they are we receive their true self.
Often the six of pentacles refers to tangible value: that which you can hold in your hands. The most obvious form of this is giving monetary donations when we are readily able to. When I offer free readings, I accept donations. This used to feel awkward, desperate. But I have learned to value my work and accept that it is right and okay to receive. No matter the amount, it means so much to me and serves as a tangible exchange of energies that is meaningful for everyone.
Perhaps my favorite form of giving is that which occurs in the kitchen. Over the holiday season I was able to create so many dishes that came from my loveliest intentions to the mouths of those I love. And in return, my loved ones brought food around and together we created thoughtful tasty meals with a special touch. When we are all willing to give and all willing to receive, it becomes a two way abundance, a duality that allows us to blossom and bloom.
I encourage everyone to plant a seed that is not in your own garden and see how it grows. Observe the way it blooms and wait for the fruits of your intention, plucked and enjoyed by others while you bask in the cool shade of your efforts. Everyone benefits. Everyone benefits.