Diffidence & Death of the Ego

Being a woman is a pendulum between loving and despising self. We are taught to do both. Over the course of my life I can think of times I’ve felt beautiful, felt smart, felt worthy, felt wonderful. Other times I’ve used my self-perception as a means to punish myself for existing.

The Vacant Wound

I prayed, journaled, added warmth, cooling gels, applied salves, balanced crystals, took drugs, joined support groups, I praised my uterus, I asked it for forgiveness, I went to acupuncture, I ignored it, talked about it, stretched, convinced myself I was crazy, went to physical therapy and resigned myself to a life of discomfort, wondered why and then decided, isn’t pain reason enough?

A Proper Propegation

can’t tell you how fucking stressful this is. To look at your sensitive fiddle leaf fig with scissors hidden behind your back. To them, it is just another day staring at the sun, but you know in your heart what’s about to happen.